I never want to go to sleep again.

(On the bright side, it's nice to realize that a lot of the bullying you endured growing up was because you essentially were smarter than said bullies and they felt humiliated by it and, because of that, lashed out at you. That's always a boost for your ego.)

Tonight is Christmas Day Night, and our stove caught on fire. Mom put it on auto-clean when there was a lot of fat in the bottom of the oven-part, and it caught. Smoke piled through our house! It was nuts ( Read more... )

I am... amazing at holding things inside. At pretending that everything is OK when I'm breaking. I can fool anyone. People hardly ever realize there's something wrong. People don't think I have PTSD. Or that I have anything to be sad about. Or... anything.

The last year has been rough. Since last October, I mean. But I've dealt. I've talked about ( Read more... )

Today was my first day back at my old school... you know, the school I dropped out of because of Colin; the school that I am now going back to because I can't face the new one. For the most part, I was happy to be back. Everything smells the same (bad), even though it doesn't look the same. There are new kids, for one. I recognized a few faces ( Read more... )

Oh my Gosh oh my Gosh oh my Gosh!!!!! :o)

I am just bursting with excitement and I can't even wait to tell you why!!! :o)

I went to do prereg today at my old school again!!! I'm going back for a whole host of personal reasons... one of them being that I want to finish school where I started off in order to get the closure I need... Of course, all I ( Read more... )

Today I rediscovered (20 minutes of difficulty, I might add!) my old favourite radio station! I've always been fascinated by the radio, and as soon as I was old enough to get my own, I did. I would spent hours listening to the radio... and then, just at the end of Grade 8, I found my first favourite one: 105.7 Easy Rock. Usually I'd go for ( Read more... )

I was just asked out on a date by my best male friend in the world ( Read more... )

I PASSED MATH CLASS!!!!!!!!!

See, I started this year very badly for Math - I was getting a 29 come midterms. But I picked up my socks and brought my mark up to a 47 right before the exam. During the exam, the material was a bunch of stuff that I hadn't studied, so I broke down crying because I didn't want to have to take Math again.

But apparently ( Read more... )

In the last while, I have become a generally shy person. It makes sense, I guess, after everything. I'm scared of people now. I'm scared they'll leave me, or won't accept me. I'm DEFINITELY scared of more arguments, fighting, etc. For all my previous interest in people, I've become incredibly selfish and secluded because of this fear, because the ( Read more... )

Well, today is another post that's a bit pessimistic... but not really pessimistic, more like... contemplative on a slightly downer level? Or just contemplative on an Amanda-study level. So, as usual, don’t read if you don’t care, don’t read if you don’t wanna read. If you do and you don’t like it, it’s your own fault for reading it.

( Empathy, Personality and C-C-C-Changes! )